Don't Hurt Yourself

PEREZ HILTON WANTED FOR MURDER!!!
..ING MY BRAIN CELLS.

TRUE: Inane gossip speculation kills brain cells

What Nicole Richie and Audrina Partridge could possibly be talking about over lunch causes Perez to speculate? Really? If they talked about Brody Jenner, would even that be interesting? Not really. Does any one else get the feeling that he's trying to be interested in these two? No one could really care about what Nicole Richie and Audrina Partridge say, think or do.

What did you say?





I don't know.





I don't know?





What?






I am with child.







Ew.









Are you going to eat those fries?








Ew.









I know. I can't help it. I'm so hungry I could eat Brody Jenner's cock.







Yummy.

Who's the dumbest girl on The Hills?

Hint: She's not a blond.

Can you imagine if from the time that you were 17, everyone indulged every whim you had, gave you thousands of dollars worth of free clothes and make-up, granted you access and VIP service at every hotel, restaurant and nightclub, AND indulged and recorded all of the ideas that you had about yourself for the world to see? Not only would you overestimate your importance in the universe, like Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag do, but you'd also be boring as hell and have nothing interesting to say: That's Lauren Conrad and Heidi "That's About It" Montag.

But, Audrina is just a pair of blank, dull brown eyes and a hairdo. People are defaulting from the Hills feud to say that they like Audrina Partridge. Huh? How can you like Audrina Partridge, or have any opinion about her at all? The girl is dumb. I've spoken to he and stared into her blank face a few times before. It's creepy.

Audrina Partridge gives the feeling that if she didn't have an entourage to corral her, she would forget that she's a celebrity and wander out into the street, hold any hand that was offered to her, get in any car, or walk off the edge of any cliff.