<<<-----Who is THAT "Actually Hot Hottie"?
If you don't know, you should. On Thursday, you will. Let me wax poetic over his actualness and his hotness: Who is this mystery man who's hotness spans last week's hottie's, Michael C. Hall, hotness ounce for ounce? From the depths of Hall's voice to the (metaphorically) laurel-adorned heights of his curiously curling brows, this man is 100% his match. Who is he? You plead with me to reveal him, but you must wait two days. Not long, I am not entirely without pity. That is why, I am delighted to inform you that I am a benevolent dictator of hotness. Yes, much like the magazine Esquire , with its annual knuckle-whitening, bathroom-floor sticking Sexiest Woman Alive series, which torments men for months on end as they wait with "sumpin sumpin" month by month as piece by piecet, the pictures come together to reveal the likes of ....huh?....Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson? OKes, whatsev.
Well, good thing that women and gay men aren't as stupid in the libidos as the heterosexually persuaded menz, because I GUARANTEE YOU THAT if you wait a whole two days, you will not regret holding out to behold "Actually Hot Hottie" #2. Shit, at the end of it all, you might even feel like you held out for a hero!
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
In the interest of setting the record straight regarding who's hot and who's not, Thursday will also be the day that I reveal the name of the "Shame on Me Nottie", a man who has tricked the public into thinking him hot or cool one too many times. Hint: His adam's apple makes ink pen want to barf.
