You Need Eye Condoms Just To Read About THIS Shit!

Pamela Anderson applied for a wedding license to marry Robert Saloman - ewwww!

So, she's 40 and looks like she's 50. Her washed-out rocker ex-husbands got in a phony fist fight at the 2007 VMAs, a cultural insult too vulgar to be called the graveyard for rock 'n' roll --which is invisible, but certainly not dead -- thanks to Fall Out Boy. No, seriously, thank you Fall Out Boy, for single-handedly saving rock and roll. It must be all of 5 foot 5 inches of your
hotness and, yes Mr. Wentz, that ineffable rock 'n' roller edge. When you smashed your guitar at the VMAs, it really meant something. It was palpable to all viewers, ink pen thinks, who must have thought to themselves, "yeah, this is the new direction of rock 'n' roll and when Wentz smashes that guitar in his little hotel suite, it's like the moment when you smash a bottle of wine of the bow of a sailboat before its maiden voyage - or was it more like the MTV VMA's when Guns 'N' F-ing Roses won band of the year and then Nirvana came along and took it all away?


Back to my original point: Please Retire THIS Celebrity from famehood.

I know she's sweet and means well and is a friend of the gays and everything, but seriously: despite being middle-aged and courting attention through her horrid exes, she recently married the man who made the sex tape 1 Night in Paris with Paris Hilton.

Let's face it, all celebrities are not the same. Can we please, please stop acting like she's interesting? Or still pretty? No, we can't all age as well as Nicole Kidman or Halle Berry, but, yes, we can all grow the fuckz up.

WILL SHE PLEASE RETIRE MAKING BAD SPOTLIGHT-SEEKING LIFE DECISIONS???

Has Conor lost his looks?

Hey dillweeds, I mean readers. Mr. Bright Eyes Conor Oberst, and M. Ward and the LA Phil weren't too bad tonight. Yo La Tengo was kind of boring becuase no one was hot adn no one was rocking my socks --- was wishing I was watching other over-the-hill indie rockers like Built to Spill or Guided By Voices, but I went and took a long pee in the majestic hillside bathrooms, and when I came back, Bright Eyes was on. Well, not really, but dramatic effect. Were there girls screaming I love you Conor in the
audience tonight? What do you think? Yes, there were a few. Conor, was pretty decent cool as ush, but it's sad to say that he's not as cute as he used to be...he's kind of outgrown his face in the same way Jake Gyllenhal, the heterosexual, has. Has Conor lost his looks or is he just in an awkward in-between phase?

Before, Conor "don't worry, you're not a pedophile for thinking I'm cute" Oberst:



OR






After, Conor "please don't break in to my car or seduce my virgin kid sister" Oberst:

Hot Bitch Has the Patience of A Saint

David "you could be a role model" Letterman really rubbed it - Paris' stint in jail - in and all over during this interview Friday night with Paris Hilton. What is with these geezers (Larry King) grilling the hell out of her? She's a celebutante, which means, given the long history of silent and secretive heiresses, it's pretty cool that we get to continuously see this high-profile woman in action. It's def annoying when celebs demand that interviews should only be to promote movies, product and albums, but no one should be expected to submit themselves to public humiliation in interviews the way that people have expected Paris and Lindsay to.

After Larry King asked her what her favorite bible passage was and tried to make her reveal whether or not she would ever drink again (what? she's not out of control like Lohan) and invaded her privacy by asking her what prescriptions she was on, she told paps that, "Larry King is amazing." After watching King turn what could have been an interesting interview into a boring, awkward one-hour doozy, we know she couldn't have meant it.

Look at Paris' hair these days. Looks Ahh-mazing!
Doubt she'll be back on Letterman any time soon. And seriously, why should she? She shouldn't. No self respecting person would.

10 Movies Not To Watch Ever

YOU DON'T GOTTA WATCH...

I've always thought that my strong impulse to not watch Boys Don't Cry was a sign of weakness, a sign of things to overcome. Some movies deal with issues so serious that it seems like the decision whether or not to watch them is a reflection on your moral fiber. Can you look at the dramatization of this serious issue (gang rape, homophobic murder, holocaust, female oppression, racist murder, suicide, hideous serial killer depressed in skating rink set to Journey song) dead in the eye? Or, are you a soma-eating weakling who can't deal with the really real in reality?

A recent conversation with my bestie -- who I can honestly say is the person who gets more living done in 24 hours than anyone else I've ever known -- made me reconsider my moralizing stance on "important" movies that are traumatizing to watch.

She started off by saying, "I made the mistake of seeing Born on the Fourth of July. Why am I watching this parapalegic? " She added, "Capturing the Friedmans is another classic. These are movies not to watch on a Friday night, movies not to watch on a date night, movies not to watch ever."

10 Movies Not To Watch Ever:

1) Boys Don't "Should I Be Watching This?" Cry
2) Shindler's "I'm going to shoot myself in the face" List
3) The "I wish I'd never been born" Accused
4) North "I Hate Men" Country
5) Mississippi "I would never want to watch" Burning
6) Monster - there are too many reasons to not watch this move
7) Monster's "Never saw it. Of course. Why would I?" Ball
8) Leaving "Why would I watch that fucking shit?" Las Vegas
9) Saving "Please Sign Me Up" Private Ryan
10)United "I will never see the Eifel Tower" 93

"Who would buy these movies?" she asked, then added, "Those movies should only be played for 24 hours and then never again."

Other contenders for movies to not watch: Happiness, Sweet Hereafter.

I'm coming out of the closet. But first, one question: Is It Still Wrong to Love Bright Eyes?

From the moment that I discovered Fevers and Mirrors in the stacks of my basement college radio station in 2000, and put on "Something Vague", I was hooked on Bright Eyes. At that time, the songs that Conor Oberst penned were deeply personal and resonated with feelings that I had from childhood and adolescence. But, as BE became more popular in the years that followed, it became difficult not to become a closet fan as people judged the band by Conor's trembling voice, eye-covering bangs, and waif-like aspect that brought sneers and terms like "Carrabba" into the conversation.

Well, let's just get one thing straight, which is that this (Chris Carrabba from Dashboard Confessional - wah!):


is not the same thing as this (Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes - yay!):


Frankly, I get the feeling that one of these boys like air conditioning way more than the other. The difference might seem negligible to music heads who don't listen to lyrics or to those who never have and, by prejudice, never will give Bright Eyes a listen, which is a personal preference to be sure. But, is anyone a little jealous that Oberst exploded onto the music scene when most of us, at his age, were only contemplating dropping out of college to live an original life?

But that brings me back to how excited I am to go see Bright Eyes, Yo La Tengo and M. Ward at the awesome Hollywood Bowl tonight. I'm going to drink two bottles of wine and eat a lot of salami and cheese while watching the sun set into the smog on the hills. Sweet!

If I were in Florida tonight, I would definitely go to Kala's wine bar for happy hour and then go to see Freakin' Hott at Poor House and drink Captain and Diets until 3 a.m. Then, I'd go over to Creolina's and get some sausage with peppers. Mmmm.

Who's the dumbest girl on The Hills?

Hint: She's not a blond.

Can you imagine if from the time that you were 17, everyone indulged every whim you had, gave you thousands of dollars worth of free clothes and make-up, granted you access and VIP service at every hotel, restaurant and nightclub, AND indulged and recorded all of the ideas that you had about yourself for the world to see? Not only would you overestimate your importance in the universe, like Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag do, but you'd also be boring as hell and have nothing interesting to say: That's Lauren Conrad and Heidi "That's About It" Montag.

But, Audrina is just a pair of blank, dull brown eyes and a hairdo. People are defaulting from the Hills feud to say that they like Audrina Partridge. Huh? How can you like Audrina Partridge, or have any opinion about her at all? The girl is dumb. I've spoken to he and stared into her blank face a few times before. It's creepy.

Audrina Partridge gives the feeling that if she didn't have an entourage to corral her, she would forget that she's a celebrity and wander out into the street, hold any hand that was offered to her, get in any car, or walk off the edge of any cliff.

1st of "10 Actually Hot Hotties"

MICHAEL C. HALL

Age:36
Height: 5'10
Hotness factors: Penetrating eyes, weirdish deep voice, played Billy Flynn on Broadway, edumacated to the post-graduate level, talented and interesting to the point that it's frightening. Can my boyfriend please be him for Halloween? Thanks.
Good news: Rumored to be going through a divorce, so potentially single.
Potentially attainable to mortal females because: He hasn't won an Emmy, Golden Globe or SAG Award......yet.
What's Amazing is: The way his eyebrows go around his eyes like that.

September 30th will be the second season premiere of Showtime's Dexter, so to celebrate I'm naming Michael C. Hall the first of my list of "10 Actually Hot Hotties" . Maybe there's something wrong with me for having a massive celebrity crush on a guy who has played a gay guy (David Fisher in Six Feet Under) and a serial killer (Dexter Morgan in Dexter). But, there's just something about Mr. Hall's everything that screams, "I'm the blond hottie for chicks who've been over Matt Damon since the turn of the century."

Also, isn't it creepy and hot the way that he smiles at his own thoughts as he describes watching Tender Mercies? Oh, yeah and he was watching Tender Mercies in junior high???



What a creepy hot piece of A!

Next Thursday, we'll ogle over another "Actually Hot Hottie".

Vivica, "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but beep beep" Fox Denies DUI

It's tough for white girls to learn shit about shit. Few things make me want to be a sister as much as watching Viv in action. But, I have to settle and be happy with seeing pics of my main bitch plastered all over the net. Even if it is to deny her DUI. Wonder what her BAC was. The really great thing about all of this new news surrounding the fabulous Miss Fox is that it reminds me to spread the word about the best B dating movie ever, Two Can Play That Game. No one should even attempt dating without seeing this movie. No one should even attempt sitting around the house on a Saturday without this movie playing in the background. No movie collection is complete without this flick about Viv destroying her man through the 10-day program.

Move Over Mr. Winkle

There's only room for one at the top. Bodhi's got you beat, and has from the moment his furry face emerged from the fleshy underside of what must have been a beautiful bitch on that puppy farm in Oklahoma. He barely survived the transport to a South Florida pet store, where his mommy rescued him. Will you look at that furry little shit now? He's taking in the view from the bluffs that overlook the Pacific Ocean in LA's fabulous west side so-called small town - home to many celebs (Do not believe the star maps!)- the Pacific Palisades. Behold Bodhi.

Who's Crying Now?

It wouldn't be The Pity Party, the duo that recently won the LA Weekly Detour battle of the bands, and will play that fair, Goldenvoice co-sponsored festival in downtown Los Angeles at 2pm on October 6th and then, according to their MySpace page, scoot across town to play another big festival, Eagle Rock Music Festival, that same day. Fucking rock 'n' rollers, shit.

SOLARE, WE MISSED YOUR SHOW.

So, while we were at El Cid last night, we missed the super sexy threesome that calls itself Solare perform at Spaceland. Yes, their top MySpace friends are planets and, yes, they are skinny runner types with a nerd-rock vibe all around their pretty heads. The shmees were very bummed to miss their show, but the line-up where we were was going so slow that we didn't have a chance of making it across Sunset Blvd to Spaceland. Darn. But, Solare is definitely one of our favorite bands ever and especially in LA. We are definitely in the mood to listen to them right now.

Solare, how can we find you?

Solare, what do you sound like?

Open Mic at El Cid

Last night, my boy and I went to El Cid, a Mexican restaurant and Friday night east side indie rock venue, in a historic building in Silverlake, that holds an open mic on Wednesdays. Open mics in LA are generally entertaining - people are either promising or deliciously delusional - and this one was pretty much a continuous back-and-forth between decent and hilarious. One stand out being an Asian guy in cargo pants and a blazer who sang a song about a man who learns that all he and his wife have to eat are hot dogs after a 9.5 quake hits Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. So, he asks her to heat hot dogs up in her arm pits for him. The guys name was Chuck Z, and he was ripe for first rounds of American Idol. Six string shmee played two of his songs, "Free Ride" and "Yesterday's Tomorrow Is Today". He's a seasoned performer, but not in the singer/songwriter genre, so he has to play ten of these things before I let him book a real solo gig. He's quickly getting better at it. El Cid is fun as hell and has decent drink and tapas menu prices. My steak was delish and the Captain Diet mix was just right. Our waiter was a rad dude with a curly stache who let me have six drinks when I told him I wasn't driving. Ouch.

Oh, by the way, there was this outrageously crazy chick, The Fabulous Miss Wendy, who threw down some a capella dirty rhymes. That's my kinda bitch.

You've Been Tased.

If you want to get tased, you can do that in Florida or in California. Tasing incidents, apparently, have amazing entertainment value on the campuses of both coasts. Watching someone gets tased really gets your adrenaline pumping.

Last year, a UCLA student was tased in the library, an incident that started when he was asked to show ID at a library. The UF student who got tased on Monday, Andrew Meyer, is obviously one of many, many 20-something males who's pissed off about the state of American politics. From what I can see in these videos, he wasn't just asking questions. He was trying to embarrass John Kerry (and he succeeded) and make his own political point.

But, he didn't start freaking out until campus police grabbed him as soon as he'd finished asking questions. Let's face it: he was kicked out for the content of his questions.

I love to see all of those sweaty, apathetic UF kids get off their asses and swarm that police station.

What's really interesting is the way that John Kerry's reaction was just to try to normalize the abnormal situation. It's the difference between looking presidential and being presidential. I don't get why people who aren't presidential want to be president. Does it really look like a fun job? Do they really have to get millions of people to rally behind them just so that they can watch themselves mimic presidential posture?


UF Tase at John Kerry speech:



UCLA Tase:

Tsunami Coffee Shop open mic

Last night, Six String Shmee dragged me along to an open mic at a fun little Silverlake coffee house called Tsunami Cafe. Everyone there was a stand-up comic, so it was kind of awkward for Shmee to whip out his guitar and perform two songs. But he did a good job, and it was really fun to meet such a range of age groups and comedy styles. A guy named Dr. Lou is the host and he opens and closes the open mic by asking for a song title . Then, he whips out his harmonica and makes up a song and story for given title. The comics at Tsunami are actually pretty seasoned compared to other rooms I've been in, and it's definitely a very environment for testing out a secret talent before a few people before you showcase it to the world.

Movie Theater commercials and Superbad

I was appalled the first time I saw a commercial in a movie theater. Now, it has become common place. The logic is supposed to be that commercials pay for content that you get for free, but when you pay, you don't have to sit through commercials, as with cable. Few things make me feel as powerless as paying $11.50 for a movie ticket, top dollar on a week night, and having to watch commercials at the movies. So, to the advertising folks at Scion, Razor, and Coca Cola, thanks a whole hell of a lot for convincing movie theaters or distributors (or whoever the hell does this) that people wouldn't mind paying to be advertised to. It sucks. You suck. You keep coming up with new and more profound ways to suck.

What other weird things like that are happening that make you feel powerless?

Heard Superbad was incredibly good. It was very funny in some places and enjoyable overall, but not mindblowing.

Two Celebs Who Aren't Big Fat Phonies

Some celebrities are big assholes. Other celebrities hide behind their publicists, and say exactly what they are told to say and are shooshed by their publicists on the red carpets. But, the celebrities that I like are artists who say what they think and mean. They are the celebrities that Goldilocks chose.

It's always fun to meet the celebs on your favorite shows, but when they're smart, nice and thoughful human beings, it's even better. I recently met these two actors, who are on up-and-coming Showtime shows.

Madeline Zima it the brunet on the left.

She plays David Duchovny's character Hank Moody's sadomasochistic, soon-to-be-stepdaughter Mia on the new Showtime show Californication, is a down chick who's very personable and multi-talented. Zima's currently learning to play 3 Bob Dylan songs on guitar. She's got a gangly, pretty charm, reminescent of another actress who plays an underage seductress, the equally affable Dominique Swain.

Erik King. is the guy packing heat in the photo above. King play Sergeant Doakes on Dexter, and is a super down guy who hugged Ink Pen and then gave sneak peek details on the upcoming second season of Dexter, Ink Pen's favorite show: this season Doakes and Dexter’s relationship is going to become even more complex, and both of them have a history that is going to continue to haunt them. Doakes’ past in Haiti and Dexter’s string of crimes. Now that everyone knows the characters better, they’re going to take us to the next level. If you think Doakes might have a crush on Dexter’s sister Debra, King says to consider that he might just be using her to get to Dexter.

Adrian Curry Fights Sex Offenders By...

Posting their names, addresses and crimes on her MySpace blog. When not badgering her much older and much shorter, Brady alum husband Christopher Knight, Adrian Curry (of America's Top Model - 1st season, Surreal Life and My Fair Brady fame) whom I admire for her honesty and inability to not speak her mind, is posting something that she calls "Top 10 Vile Fucks" on her MySpace page. Whoa the language that spills from this hot honey is anything but sweet, but she always makes her fucking point, don't she? Posting peoples' names and addys? What do we think about this? Adrian Curry myspace.

Kanye's Ego Bigger Than Previously Thought

After my Kanye-centric post yesterday, I went to the TV Guide Emmy afterparty at Les Deux in Hollywood, where John Legend, a meek and humble cutie, performed a nice long set of passionately sung emotional songs that all melded together into a performance that many people seemed to love, but that was, for me, background music. A surprise guest followed his act: none other than yesterday's blog session obsession Kanye West.

It's so strange to see the way that people respond to Mr. West, who recently released his album Graduation. When Kanye took the stage, the celebrity-stuffed party froze to figure out if it was really Kanye (yes!) and then hundreds rushed toward him like the Beatles were onstage tuning up with John Lennon's ghost for one last go.

So, Kanye dances around and tears it up for a couple of songs until the audience is going nuts. People just seem to love the shit out of him. He performs Golddigger, and then stops because he has something to say to the audience, and that's when th scene turns strange and uncomfortable for anyone who lives within the parameters of tact:

Kanye West is absolutely obsessed with how well his album sales have been going and he wants to make sure that everyone in the tent, there to celebrate the Emmy's, knows how amazing his accomplishment is. He says, "I think that the number one album this year sold 400 or 500 thousand the first week. Graduation sold 455,000 the first day," and repeats with emphasis, "445,000 the first day, family." I don't know if I've ever seen anyone over the age of, say 13 or 14 years-old, act the way that Kanye does and talk the way that Kanye does --

-- maybe Noel Gallagher comparing Oasis to the Beatles?

Perhaps it is a good idea to blow your own horn about how great you are until it simply drowns out any opposition and people would have to distract themselves too much from their own lives to beg to differ?

Should we all be boastful like Kanye? I've always thought that you were supposed to keep your mouth shut about what you think is great about yourself, but if Kanye's breaking records and everyone's loving him every second, what's the point of being modest?

I was watching Bill Maher the other day and they were talking about Al Gore being modest about taking part in creating the internet, I believe. They were making the point that he downplayed his strengths to appear gracious and modest, but that that doesn't work anymore because people don't understand that kind of complex emotion. They just understand exactly what you tell them, which seems inanely simple, but it might just be the best, most straightforward way to communicate.

It's like Kanye West said to a group of people who were out to celebrate an Emmy party, not him: "Right now, the way I’m feeling right now is that before the day I die, I’m going to touch the sky."

Velvet Rope Catastrophe

Ink Pen Shmee brings you one perspective on the
Velvet Rope Catastrophe A.K.A. the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards

It's a little late but, since I just started blogging, lemme talk for a minute or five about the MTV Video Music Awards. I watched it in my living room while playing a card game (Hell! Nothing beats high-speed competitive solitaire) with three friends -- a radio exec, a musician, and a music distribution exec, hmm -- who kept begging me to turn off the agitating madness (the Awards show).

I kept it on, but it was like hard to keep my eyes from rolling all over my head -- Chris Brown, I mean seriously...nice Charlie Chaplin immo, lamewad. And then JT, who probably speaks in that butchered lilt because his natural voice (which breaks through when he gets real excited "We got a moon man. We got a moon man.") is the kind of high-pitched squeal that brings shame to 12-year-old boys across the world, compliments him with an inarticulate: "whatever Chris Brown just did reminded me that I'm getting older, cause damn." Oh, now I get it. I hope that this year is the last that we'll see of Chris Brown, but even more than that, and this is an aside, I hope we've seen the last of Akon, the man who throws human beings at other human beings. Akon throws human beings at other human beings.

With its suite-structure and reheated line-up, the MTV Awards was a total velvet rope catastrophe. The velvet rope has one and only one function: to generate the illusion of appeal through mystery and unspoken rejection. In other words, every time you see a velvet rope recognize that someone behind it is desperate to generate hype. You don't know what's inside because you can't get inside and you don't try cause you might be embarrassed if were to seek entry and be rejected, but more often than not, velvet ropes hide what's not happening inside. The divided crowd and the hotel suite party rooms relieved performers from really having to bring it in front of an audience and, I would imagine, gave MTV control over how and when to air each performance.

Here's a question: Why is Pete Wentz so famous? He's short, not very cute and, how very rock 'n' roll, dating lip-synching, surgically reconstructed, sister-coattail-riding pop tart Ashlee Simpson. When he smashed his guitar after his awards show performance it was an insult to rock 'n' roll. I covered the MTV Video Music Awards in 2005, and there were a few rock bands present at the awards: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance and Green Day. No greats, no real keeping of pace with the rock bands who are filling stadiums and large venues throughout the country, performing mind blowing, meaningful music that speaks to the actual state of peoples' minds.

A lot of important things are happening in music right now, but you won't see them on MTV.
Besides his Katrina blurt, what's so awesome about Kanye West? His name is pretty cool and "Golddigger" was a catchy tune, sure. I even bought Late Registration a couple of years ago because I thought it would be fun to listen to Golddiger while I drove around, and it was fun for a minute. But the rest of the album was unlistenable. Maybe I didn't get it, and I don't claim to have listened to his new album, so...all I can say is that I grow tired of watching his cocky antics -- embarrassing himself at the European MTV Awards ("If I don't win, the Awards show loses credibility") and his self-promoting face-off with 50 cent. But what's really off the mark about Kanye's talk is this quote that I found on People.com in which Kanye West says, "I told the guy at MTV, There's only a couple things important in music this year: Umbrella, Amy Winehouse," he said. "It's not just about me. Britney Spears is not important in music."

He's definitely right about Britney. Why should the public fight for her to make her comeback when there's no meaning to it? She's got tens of millions of dollars and the best producers in the biz at her back, so what's the big deal if someone can manufacture a beat and distort her vocals to sound good as they go along with it? Let someone else have a chance. She should be on permanent vacation in Fiji or Cabo. What does she have to contribute?

But to say there's only a couple of things important in music is to overlook a great deal. Granted, Kanye can sell records and he should be at the MTV Music Awards to represent himself, and, if he wants, be able to make blanket statements about what's happening in music. At least he speaks his mind. The problem is that the greats of music, those who define today's era, are not being honored and are not present to represent themselves. Eh, hem, hello, we're Arcade Fire, and we're not sure if you caught our era-defining new album Neon Bible or not, but oooh wait, look Danity Kane is wearing Ed Hardy swag, so nevermind us! Hi we're Band of Horses and we write our own songs, which have feeling, so see you never. And, is there not room for MF Doom?
All of this begs the question, are today's artist just popular for being popular? Also, do all artists have equal access to the airwaves? Are today's DJs informed, savvy musicphiles, or just engineers who speak banalities in between pushing buttons to switch between pre-programmed set lists?

Don't even get me started on the Pam, Kid Rock and Tommy Lee feud. The fact that these names are a part of today's pop culture vocabulary stalls the tongue. Kick a bunch of rock 'n' roll corpses around and call it drama if you want to, but I don't buy it.

Here's a question: If the MTV Music Video Awards were to really represent the best in music in 2007, who would have been there?

Welcome to Ink Pen Shmee - FTL to LA

I'm Ink Pen Shmee, a writer and relatively recent Florida to LA transplant.

Ink Pen is up and running. Welcome.

This was an action-packed week in LA. Living in LA, it's often difficult to decide whether to stay in and just let the world spin around you (missed the Built to Spill concert at the awesome Henry Fonda Theatre last night) or to go out and find either great tedium (traffic, parking) or great enjoyment - last Sunday's amazing Paul Oakenfold and Underworld concert at the equally amazing Hollywood Bowl, for example.

A Florida girl like me wonders how is such a venue as the Hollywood Bowl even possible? When you go to a concert there, you essentially walk up a scenic mountain path (with tickets like mine, you're way up at the top!) ,past groups of people sitting on blankets or at picnic tables with bottles of wine (it really is a wine-centric experience), to your seat, where you continue to dine and drink as the sun sets over the Hollywood Hills. Just when dusk reaches it's breaking point, your favorite band's opening act comes on, and night sets in as the music builds to your favorite act. It's insane.

After the show, we went backstage and met Paul, who was a chummy center-of-attention kind of fellow. He joked about coming-of-age under the direction of a mutual acquaintance, made us giggle and was on to other things. We searched for alcoholic refreshments, but the few bottles that were around were empty, so we turned our attention to trying to figure out whether this blond guy in the room was the singer for Underworld, but we couldn't tell, so we didn't get to meet any of Underworld. But that guy did bump into me and I said, "Excuse me," which was quasi-remarkable.

Back in Florida, going to a concert venue often felt like going back to the state's prison-like public high schools. You wait in long lines to get searched, and then you're redirected all over the place like cattle until you find your seat, where you sit and wait for so long for the bands to start that you're mad at them when they finally take the stage, you forgive them when they play your favorite songs, and you realize that, more often than not, it's just not worth it to go. Great bands almost never make it down the peninsula to Florida, so the next time one does come, you do go and you kick yourself again.

At the Hollywood Bowl, and the Fonda too (except for their weird, but understandable "no gum" rule), it's just like the concert fits in to a great hang out space. It's sweet.

Speaking of the Fonda, Six-String Shmee and I went to watch the Spoon concert on Tuesday night, and the Austin quartet was A-okay. Their music is fun, but they're not my favorite and the crowd in the main room was so thick that I had to get out and up to the rooftop lounge, where, you guessed it, I spotted a celebrity smoking a cigarette and chatting up a short brunet. Who was it? That guy with the long face who got his ass kicked in Dazed and Confused, otherwise known as the co-star of Judy Delpy's new movie, 2 Days in Paris, Adam Goldberg. Thought he's not exactly a heartthrob, I must say he's grown into his face, and he's not too bad at all these days. I usually can't resist approaching celebrities with the weirdest questions and comments that pop into my head, but it just doesn't seem like the thing to do in the cooler-than-thou setting of a too-cool-for-school Spoon concert.

One of the perks (besides saving money that you don't have anyway) of staying in in LA that you get to meditate on what you're doing here and if you're going to last, if you should or shouldn't work out and look for inspiration to stick with it. On Thursday night, I stayed in and found a few gems when I sifted through my British Literature anthology from college. If you were hoping for the aphorisms of Oscar Wilde, lucky break for you:

"Being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose I know."

"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."

My favorite:
"Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage makes her look like a public building."